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Saturday, 21 May 2016

Depression update

Yes it’s been a few weeks but I have been dealing with sickness and medication withdrawal.  I had to come off the medication I was on for anxiety before I could start the new medication for depression and insomnia.  I found the medication withdrawal tough especially in the evening.  The first couple of nights I had to deal with nausea with resulted in me taking anti-nausea medication to just get through the night. The next couple of days I felt I down right horrible. Feeling constantly sick and the only that would help a little was eating. I didn’t enjoy the constant snacking. Complete lack of being to concentre on anything and the emotional meltdowns which were happening every couple of hours. This lasted a couple of weeks with the first week being the worst and had me considering just taking the medication to feel normal again.

Then my oldest son Master J had a nasty cold which lingered for a couple of weeks so our school holidays weren’t that great. Then I had gastro and have developed an upper respiratory infection from the cold I had. So I write this with a very fuzzy head and a very nasty cough. So back to the depression medication. I wasn’t able to start it till I had my blood test results back for my liver as the medication can affect the liver. I wasn’t expecting to anything to come back and wanted to start medication I wanted to feel normal I wanted to have feelings again not numbness.  Before I saw the doctor I had said to Mr C after watching a short documentary on depression that I wasn’t sure if medication was the way to go. I don’t like the way I feel when taking those type of medications and the whole point of being prescribed the medication was to help me feel better and I wanted to feel like me and I knew the medication wouldn’t help with that part. So I started thinking about other things I could do to manage the depression.

The last few nights before my doctor’s appointment I actually started sleeping eight hours straight and this hadn’t happened for over six months. Maybe it was linked to the anxiety medication.  So I went to doctor described my plan of action that I didn’t want medication just yet , that I wanted to try things like exercise (get those the feel good hormones going) and seeing a counsellor and my sleep continued that way it had been going the last few nights it had to help.  My blood results came back saying that my liver was working overtime (my doctor’s words). So the medication I had for depression was no longer an option for me.

So the exercise part hasn’t begun yet or seeing a counsellor which I really need to get on to once I’m over being sick. And how am i feeling? I feel somewhat normal in the emotions area. I’m defiantly feeling more in control sometimes and according to Mr C no big mood swings. So hopefully in time I will feel more like me. Even if I’m still trying to figure out whom that is.